Relationships

I don't understand why in  this day and age relationships have to be so hard. How hard is it not lie to someone? I don't lie about anything. I don't even think about other guys like that... Like I just don't get it. And I probably never will. At this point I'm completely okay with dying alone. I wouldn't want a husband even if one begged me to be his wife. Like seriously. After being cheated on so many times I will probably never ever fully trust a man again.  And that's not fair to them. Especially if I'm going to be married to one.

I don't think there is such a thing as a "good guy" anymore. I really don't. You just have to find someone whose bullshit you can tolerate. It's not about finding someone who will treat you right. That'll never come along. If your okay with a shady man but knows he isn't physically cheating that you 'll be fine. Or if he's totally loyal just addicted to porn. But me personally I don't deal With that shit. Porn is fine every now and then... But if you cross the line then I'm not ok.

I guess the argument could be made I'm just a bitch and deserve all this happening to me. But in reality I don't keep boyfriends on a close leash. If I notice you change your password yeah I'll have a problem. Or suddenly put one on your phone then I know something is going on. And it's not like I have the confidence or the guts to say shit. Cause it's always turned around on me. "Why does it matter?" Um! Cause obviously your fucking hiding something bro! Like, what the fuck! I'm not stupid! I'm just over it. I think I'm gonna take my money and run. You want to be all secretive? You can do it alone.